Sawal Ek Crore kaa

The playwright in me wants to say something here. So here you go

Characters:

The ISBian(TI) : A regular guy, who by plain good fortune has got into The Indian School of Business-lead character of the story
Daddy: ISBian’s father
Mummy: ISBian’s Mother
Mystery Gal(MG): ISBian’s friend who he feels should be his girlfriend ( anyways whats a play or a movie without a cute female --)
Friend 1, Friend 2: ISBian’s friends
Adosi, Padosi(AP): ISBian's nosy neighbors
Prospective Father in law(PF): The guy who wants The ISBian to marry his daughter(Of course the ISBian is least interested)
Unwarranted Stakeholders(US): People who think they are very important in the ISBian’s life but he thinks otherwise. Includes all kinds of unwanted relatives, people posing to be friends when they actually are not and all other junta whom the ISBian tries to avoid everytime he comes across them

Scene 1:

April 6th 20XX
A Red letter day in the history of Indian Bschool placements. Some mystery person from the previous batch has got an offer of Rs 1 crore (ofcourse it USD salary converted at maximum possible exchange rate). Mummy and Daddy are listening to the news. TI is chilling out doing nothing.

Daddy: Wow. The media is going ga ga over ISB placements. Some’s got one crore

TI: Yeah. Its not as pretty as it sounds

Mummy: Why you want to criticize everything? People are actually doing well these days. And look at you? Cant believe ISB took you!

TI: Yeah. Placements look good. But one crore is a cooked up figure. Plus the person getting it must be an amazing profile and loads of work ex

Daddy: Try to get One crore for yourself next year

TI: ( thinking) kya sapne hain huh

Phone rings

Friend 1: Hi TI
TI : Hi

Friend 1: Abe tu to crorepati ho gaya

TI: Kyon bhai

Friend 1: Arre news mein dekh. ISB walon to ek crore salary mil raha hai

TI: arre yaar first its not ek crore—its in dollars and then the profile of the person would be---

Friend 1: Arre chup yaar. Tub hi banega crorepati next year. Party de de jaldi se

TI: par yarr----

Friend 1: Ok sham ko party. Bye

TI: arre

1 min silence and phone rings again. This time it’s the English speaking MBA grad friend 2

Friend 2: Hi Dude

TI: Hey man wats up?

Friend 2: Man u are gonna be rich

TI: oh you too. Dint expect this from a US educated guy

Friend 2: What do you mean? One crore is big money even in the US

TI: but you know its actually not the only thing and then not everyone-----

Friend 2: Oh shutup. We deserve a party. You will sponsor booze. C ya at 8 tonite

TI: arre

Friend 2: Bye

TI is totally confused. Why is everyone so hyper about Ek crore? And why the hell should I throw a party for it?

Phone rings

TI; Hello
It’s the Mystery gal

MG: Hey crorepati

TI: (thinking) I want to be your pati not crorepati huh

MG: What placements—You must be really happy

TI: Well placements are good. But I have much more to do before I even think about it.

MG: oh o be happy. You would be the next crorepati

TI: well theoretically yes. Practically nooooooo way

MG: arre y not?

TI: You see theres a lot that needs to be done---

MG: arre don’t be ultra modest. You would be the next crorepati. I know that

TI: but---

MG: ok crorepati. Don’t forget friends once you are rich

TI; donno what to say

MG: take care of ur money

TI: bye

TI is almost nuts. The TV channels are going overboard with ISB placements and every channel TI flips is singing the one crore song. TI puts off the TV and decides to go for a walk.
Scene 2
Park
US1: oh hi

TI: hello uncle

US1: I heard about ISB placements. Congrats

TI: I havnt got placed yet!

US1: oh you would. And you would get one crore. Then don’t forget this uncle

TI: (thinking) oh I have to know you first to be able to forget you
Similar pattern follows with atleast 5 more U.Ses coming to TI and talking about one crore. TI is totally mad and decides to go back home

Scene 3:
Home
2-3 APs are sitting. Their eyes light up on the sight of TI.

AP1: oh here comes the future corepati

TI: (smiles subtly)

AP2: so what are you going to do with one crore

TI: just smiling.(thinking) I would buy the houses of you guys and throw you out of society just to have some peace

AP1: bade aadmi ho gaye ab to

TI: ok uncle I got to go. Retires to his room

Silence for 5 mins. Phone rings. It’s the deadly PF. Daddy picks up the phone

PF: arre Sir congrats. You son is going to an institution where ppl are getting crores

Daddy: thanks

Conversation goes on for 5 mins

Daddy: TI, PF wants you to atleast meet his daughter.

TI: not interested

Daddy: hes such a nice guy. Was so happy with one crore news

TI: (cant bear it anymore and shouts): I dint get one crore. Everyone doesn’t ok. And its not One crore and not everyone is so brilliant and blah and blah and blah

Scence 4:

TI is alone in the room. Lot of questions in mind

1) Why am I going to ISB? Just to get One crore?
2) What is the underlying purpose of an educational institution ? To impart education or to churn out crorepatis?
3) How am I going to live in this banal society if I don’t get one crore salary? What if I don’t get a job at all?
4) Why is everyone concentrating only on the end? No one talks about the means to achieve the end!
5) Why is the Indian media so irresponsible? Dissemination of information and flaring up to project an unwarranted picture has become a trademark of media. High time we do something about it
6) Why is just the placement report so important? Why cant the media talk about other things such as the quality of education, diversity, unique curriculum and a holistic experience which institutes like the ISB provide---Is being crorepati or not, the only parameter to judge a success of a person??? Atleast TI doesn’t agree

Thoughts?

Curtains

Disclaimer
All characters in this play are fictitious. If they have a striking resemblance to any person living, dead or almost dead under the weight of being a future crorepati, its purely coincidental.